Iinqonga ezi-7 zokuqwalasela xa ukhetha umgcini wezingane zakho
Ukuba unabantwana abancinci, mhlawumbi isisombululo esibaluleke kakhulu ekufuneka uyenze ngokuphathelele kwisicwangciso sakho sepropati, ngubani omele anakekele abantwana bakho xa ufa ngoxa besesemncinci. Ngokwemigaqo yomthetho, oku kubizwa ngokuba ngumgcini okanye umgcini womgcini womntu. Abaninzi bam bathengi kule meko balahlekelwa xa bezama ukukhetha phakathi kwamalungu entsapho kunye nabahlobo ukususela ekubeni umntu ngamnye uya kuba nepros. Nazi izinto ezi-7 omele uziqwalasele xa usenza isigqibo sokuba ngubani ogama lakhe njengomgcini wabantwana bakho abancinci.
01 # 1 - Uphi umgcini onokuhlala?
Abathengi abaninzi bacinga ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba xa befa, umntu abamkhethayo njengomgcini wabantwana babo uya kuphakamisa iibhegi zabo aze ahambe ngqo endlwini yabantwana okanye athenge indlu kwindawo. Le nto ibuza kakhulu kumgcini wakho. Yintoni enokwenzeka ukuba yenzeke kukuba abantwana baya kuhamba kunye nomgcini ukuba benendawo kwaye, ukuba akunjalo, umgcini uya kuthenga indlu enkulu kwiindawo ezikhoyo ukulungiselela indawo yabo kunye neyakho. Ngoko cinga malunga nomntu ofuna ukumbiza ngokuba ngumlondolozi ubomi kunye nokuba ulungile kunye nabantwana bakho bakhuliswa apho. 02 # 2 - Ziziphi iinkolelo zonqulo, zezopolitiko nezokuziphatha ezingabakhona?
Okokuqala, cinga ngeenkolelo zakho zonqulo, zezopolitiko nezokuziphatha uze ucinge ngezinto owaziyo malunga neenkolelo zonqulo, ezombusazwe nezokuziphatha. Ukuba awukwazi okuninzi malunga neenkolelo zomgcini, unokufuna ukubuza ngoba lo ngumntu oya kuthembela ukuyikholisa iinkolelo zabantwana bakho ukuba ungekho. Yaye ngelixa kungenakwenzeka ukufumana umgcini olandela i-100% yeenkolelo zakho, umntu olandela i-70% -80% ngokuqinisekileyo uyona khetho olungcono kunomntu olandela kuphela i-30% -40%. 03 # 3 - Uyazi ntoni malunga nezakhono zomzali zomzali?
Ukuba umlondolozi osenokuba ngumzali, ngoko ucinga ngezakhono zabo zabazali. Ngaba ngaba izandla zokulondoloza zikwazi ukukhulisa abantwana babo okanye ngaba zithembele ngaphandle koncedo? Ngaba uyazi imbono yomlondolozi malunga nokuqeqeshwa kwabafundi, imfundo, ezemidlalo kunye neminye imisebenzi yesikolo? Okanye, ukuba umlondolozi ongeyena umzali, ngoko ke qwalasela into oyaziyo malunga nendlela umlondolozi onokukhutshwa ngayo kuba oku kuya kuba nefuthe kakhulu ekusebenzeni njengomzali. 04 # 4 - Uneminyaka engakanani umlondolozi?
Ubungakanani bomgcini onokuthi unokunquma zombini iindlela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umgcini omdala ungase abe bhetele kwiindawo eziphathekayo zezimali kwaye abe nexesha elide lokuba nezandla kunye nokukhulisa abantwana bakho, kodwa kwelinye, umgcini omdala angabikho ekuthinteni kunye nemimiselo yangoku kwimfundo kunye nabazali kunye yintoni abantwana abakuthandayo namhlanje nabathanda. Kwaye ku soloko kunokwenzeka ukuba umgcini omdala angagula okanye afe ngaphambi kokuba abantwana babe ngabantu abadala. Ngomgcini omncinci, banokubandakanyeka kakhulu ekwenzeni umsebenzi wabo kunye nosapho ukuze bakhathazeke ngokukhulisa abantwana bakho. Oku kuyinyaniso kumntakwabo omdala womntwana omncinci - umntakwabo unokuba ekholejini okanye aqale umsebenzi wabo kwaye engekho kwindawo yokukhulisa umntakwabo omncinci. 05 # 5 - Yiyiphi imeko yentsapho yomlondolozi?
Ingaba ngumlondolozi onokutshata kunye nabantwana abancinci, abatshatileyo nabantwana abadala, umzali ongatshatanga, batshata ngaphandle koonyana, okanye abangatshatanga nabantwana? Ukuba utshatile, ngoko umtshato umele njani? Ukuba ungatshatanga, ngaba kukho umlingane okanye umntu obalulekileyo kwindawo? Ukuba umlondolozi ongenakho nabantwana, ngaba kukho ithuba labantwana kwikamva? Ukuba ngaba umgcini onokuthi unabantwana, ke bangaphi na abanako kwaye bahlala phi xa beqhathaniswa nabantwana bakho? Ukuqwalasela imeko yentsapho yomntu oyimfuneko kukubalulekileyo ekuqondeni ukuba oku kuya kuchaphazela njani ukukhuliswa kwabantwana bakho. 06 # 6 - Yiyiphi imeko yezemali yomgcini?
Ngaba uyazi ukuba umgcini onokukwazi ukulawula imali, unomsebenzi ozinzile, unomlingane okanye omnye umntu oqinileyo ngomsebenzi oqinileyo, okanye apho umlondolozi onokufumana imali yakhe yokuhlawula iindleko kwaye abeke ukutya kwitheyibhile? Ngaba ucinga ukuba umlondolozi onokuthi uza kuyeka umsebenzi okanye uthathe umsebenzi wesibini ukukhulisa abantwana bakho? Njengoko ngokuqwalasela imeko yentsapho yomlondolozi, ukuqwalasela imeko yezemali yomgcini onokubaluleka kuyisisiseko ekuqondeni ukuba le nto inako kwaye iya kuba nefuthe ekukhulisweni kwabantwana bakho. 07 # 7 - Ngaba ucele umlondolozi onokukwazi ukuba akwazi ukukhonza?
Zonke ezinye izinto ezi-6 oza kuyidingeka ukuba uziqwalasele eziluhlaza xa uthelekisa nalo. Ukuba awuthathi ixesha lokucela umgcini onokukwazi ukuba uya kukulungele ukwenza njengomgcini wabantwana bakho, ngoko unokubeka abantwana bakho nentsapho enkundleni yenkundla ukuba umntu owukhethile akayi ufuna okanye akakwazi ukukhonza. Eli akusiyo ixesha lokuba neentloni - ubomi bakho bantwaneni basengozini, ngoko kufuneka ube ngowona mgcini kunye nabanye amalungu omndeni okanye abahlobo. Yaye ukuba unenkxalabo yokulimaza iimvakalelo zomntu, musa. Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abantwana bakho bakwinqanaba, ngoko ke ukhetho lwakho lomgcini kufuneka lusekelwe kwinto efanelekileyo kakhulu kubo, kungekhona oko kuya kwenza ukuba intsapho okanye abahlobo bakho bajabule. 08 Yintoni ephantsi xa ugqiba ngubani oza kumkhetha njengomgcini?
Nangona ezi zinto ezi-7 zingabonakala ngathi zininzi izinto ezinokucinga ngazo xa uzama ukugqiba ukuba ngubani ogama lakhe njengomgcini wabantwana bakho, umgca wukuthi kuya kufuneka ubeke i-7 ngokulandelelana kwakho kunye nabantwana bakho kwaye ukunciphisa ukhetho lwakho ukusuka apho. Enyanisweni, ukwenza uludwe oludala lwe "pros and cons" lufanele luncede ekukhetheni umntu ofanelekileyo ukuba abe ngumlondolozi wabantwana bakho. Yaye ungayigxina ukubaluleka kokumisela umgcini wokugcina umgca ekukhetheni kwakho okokuqala xa bengenakukwazi okanye abayi kukhonza. Ngaphandle koko, kuya kushiywa kwijaji ukugqiba ukuba ngubani oza kuba ngumgcini wezingane zakho.